Reliving A Painful Past

Listening to the news has become unusually grueling. I woke to a report about the explosion in child abuse pornography which was part of the behaviour of April Jones’ killer.

Tonight’s news led with the Oxford exploitation case (perhaps more accurately called Child Sexual Slavery) then went on to Tia Sharpe’s murder.

Are child abuse, rape and sexual violence on the increase or being taken more seriously? There are no clear stats to help us here but we know that they have always existed. What we can be very clear about is that this is nothing to do with sex. Child abuse, rape and sexual violence are linearly linked to power and control.

Power and control are most often discussed in relation to domestic violence but it’s clear that abuse of power and control are at play in all cases where adults harm children or men who have machetes and guns harm people who don’t.

The response to all of this distressing news is beginning to emerge in therapy. People are reliving experiences of childhood abuse and suffering distress. John Snow speaks poignantly about his experience of abuse.

Importantly, he explains why people who were abused years ago didn’t come forward at the time. They wouldn’t be believed. They would be punished. They would be shamed - deeply, profoundly shamed. Their abuser will have told them that their parents or carers would die or disown them. If they were taken seriously they’d be subjected to humiliating interviews with police, doctors and social workers, and disgusting cross-examinations in court. We can see this at play in the endless comments on news pages wondering why survivors didn’t make a fuss when it happened and accusing them of being in it for compensation.

It doesn’t help when a barrister proposes that the best way to reduce levels of child abuse is to lower the age of consent.

There are a number of specialist organizations that work with adults who were abused in childhood and I would respectfully suggest that they might be your first stop if you need professional support. Any good counsellor will be able to take the journey with you through your experience but with a specialist agency you’ll be guaranteed a counsellor who is specifically trained for this and who is supervised and supported by people who are also trained and experienced in the subject. 

NAPAC

NSPCC

Rape Crisis

SupportLine

Victim Support

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