Excavating my notice board this morning I found a withered peice of newspaper that I can't justify keeping but don't want to lose. 100 years ago I'd have written it into my Commonplace Book but today we have blogs. Enjoy.

Look at it this way

I used to commission a lot of
photography.

Consequently people were keen to show
me their work.

99% of the portfolios I saw were of a very
high standard.

98% of these cases contained
pictures I had seen before.

Obviously not the same subject or
composition, but I had a general
impression that I was not seeing
anything new.

I was bored, they didn't have a point off
view. If they did it was that the viewer of
their pictures (me) should like their work.

Very occassionally I saw the work of
someone who did have a point of view,
whose work was like no one else's.
These were often difficult people,
almost unemployable because you
couldn't tell them what to do.

Sometimes it went wrong.

Sometimes it didn't.

When it didn't go wrong it more than
made up for the times it did.

Gilbert Garcin

The number of high profile people resigning, being arrested, being made unemployed and looking shameful is increasing by the day. As the house of cards that is the relationship between the media, the police and government continues to tumble, and MP’s who have been blackmailed for decades finally find the nerve to speak out against the Murdoch mafia, it’s a useful time to look at the concept of Groupthink.

Here’s a couple of definitions,

"A mode of thinking that people engage in when they are deeply involved in a cohesive ingroup, when the members' strivings for unanimity override their motivation to realistically appraise alternative courses of action.” Janis, 1972.

“Collective optimism and collective avoidance.” T Hart 1998

The Stamford Prison Experiment is a classic demonstration: some nice young men were randomly divided into Prisoner and Guard roles and abuse began within minutes. The psychologists involved – highly qualified and experienced professionals – became caught up in the drama and perpetuated the abuse. So did the ‘prisoners’ parents, lawyers and a chaplain, all brought in to authenticate the experiment.

In 1986 the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded, killing all the crewmembers. The engineers had told everyone, endlessly that the O rings would fail because of atmospheric conditions but the need to sell the concept of the shuttle as if it was a profit-making business led people to ignore this information.

Bang.

There’s no doubt that the Murdoch’s are and are likely to remain massively successful. I see any number of clients who are successful, optimistic, positive and increasingly disturbed by their own consciences. It’s none of my business what decisions a person makes, my job is to provide the environment in which a person can discover for themselves what they believe to be best. In other words, to give clients the opportunity to step outside of Groupthink.

The most recent Groupthink research suggests that groups that contain more positive disagreement are less likely to experience disaster than everyone whoopdedooing in agreement. Individuals know what is right and wrong, we just learn expedience.

Whether you’re a part of a team with huge power and influence, or a member of group under increasing financial pressure or a person stuck with a peer group that punishes dissent, having the space to consider what you really want from your own life rather than someone else’s idea of good and bad may save you a great deal of trouble later on.

Some years ago (and very occasionally still) I worked with people who were dying and found that helped me with a better understanding of life. Here're some thoughts from Bronnie Ware

REGRETS OF THE DYING

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly.