24/8/2015 Pull Yourself Together.![]() I loathe this kind of Inspirational Quote. The cliché of a Wise Exotic Person, in this case that acme of wisdom, a Native American; the shrewd observation of nature; the comparison between something ordinary and ubiquitous against something noble and clever; and the requirement to change your attitude, you weak, stupid fool. Clearly, this person has never seen a raptor in the rain. This kind of ‘inspiration’ is too often built on fantasy, ignorance and the desire not to encourage but to load blame on to vulnerable people. It has the added benefit that it makes us feel better about ourselves. Viktor Frankl and his selectively quoted book, "Man's Search For Meaning" is often used to punish people: "When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves." "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." Can we be clear? Frankl was writing about his experience in a Nazi concentration camp. Although he hypothesised about what signs individuals gave of despair as a prelude to their death these are not research results, they are the desperate observations of a dying man. Using Frankl’s words in this way suggests that if only those spineless failures in concentration camps who gave up had just changed their attitude a lot more of them would have survived. Frankl turned the memory of his wife into a kind of religious mania, an act he credited with keeping him alive, but I’m not aware of any inspirational quotes suggesting we all do the same. There’s a great deal to be said about altering our attitude towards events. It’s absolutely true that if we can gather ourselves after a failure, loss or catastrophe and keep moving forward then we are more likely to achieve more and perhaps be happier. This can be very important for people who’ve experienced bereavement, at some point they need to drag themselves away from misery and shock if they’re not to remain out of the world. But some people will remain in that state. Do they have terrible attitude? Are they stupidly refusing to be helped? Or has no one offered them the kind of help that they can accept? There’s always a reason for a ‘bad attitude.’ Sometimes it’s a personality habit and it’s no use saying that this can be dealt with by snapping out of it: in every situation people do what they believe is best. When we say they should just try harder or be nicer their perception of the world as a place full of cruel people who have no empathy is compounded. Happily, an increasing number of people are beginning to speak out about their failures and anxieties, their inability to buzz through the world like a chainsaw, the mental illness that floors them and the shock and humiliation of collapse. Less dramatically, we’re recognising the existence of introverts who make up around half of the population and who are quickly exhausted by having to do things that extroverts are energised by. Like go to meetings. Or talk to people. By the time that most people come to therapy they’ve moved past the possibility of changing their attitude into miserable paralysis. Thank goodness. That’s the place where change happens, not in denial of reality. Let’s look at another Viktor Frankl quote – one that’s longer, more complex, requiring more reflection than those chosen by other people who want us to get a grip: “Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actualized. Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be and of what he could become, he makes these potentialities come true.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning When we tell people to change their attitude we shut them down. When we acknowledge the reality of their situation - that they are unique, that they are not us - when we give each other compassionate space, then genuine, individual growth becomes possible. Not growth to satisfy anyone else’s idea of success but growth that leads to their own concept of accomplishment. Kids Company won’t be the first organisation to suddenly collapse in a flurry of gossip and panic and it won’t be the last.
At the time of writing there’s a real lack of clarity around what’s happened there but what the media has shown us seems to suggest that Founders Syndrome may have some part in this drama. Most of us won’t set up a charity let alone a successful one. We won’t gather a group of people around us who are dedicated to our vision of how the world should be and how we can get there. It takes a certain kind of person – charismatic, passionate, endlessly inspired, dogmatic, tireless – to create and develop a project that other people will come to feel similarly about. These are not ordinary people. A great deal of workplace whoopla extols us to develop traits that set Founders apart – every job description ludicrously requires applicants to be ‘passionate’ – but very few of us have the drive that marks them out. Richard Carr Gomm was born into privilege and decorated for bravery. After WW2 he walked across Italy as a tramp, ‘to see what it was like,’ and discovered how very differently a person is treated, not because of who they are but because they look, sound and are forced to live the opposite of prosperously. The experience inspired him to leave the army and become housekeeper to four elderly, impoverished people whom he invited to live in one of the Bermondsey houses owned by his family which he and a group of volunteers renovated. The model was a success and, surrounded by growing numbers of enthusiastic volunteers, he opened five more homes, creating the Abbeyfield Society which now provides accommodation for 8,000 elderly people. But just 8 years later Carr Gomm was forced out of Abbeyfield ‘ accused of power complexes and egoism.’ So he set up the Carr Gomm society, a similar housing concept for people under 45, and then the Morpeth Society for people who could afford luxurious homes but were lonely. Richard Carr Gomm was a doggedly determined man with unending energy. If he thought something was worth doing he put everything he had into it and inspired others to join him. That force of will is vital to launch a project through the sheer weight of disinterest at best and, at worst, hostility that greets most new philanthropic models. Here are some of the symptoms of Founders Syndrome: · The organization is strongly identified with the person or personality of the founder. · The founder makes all decisions, big and small, without a formal process or input from others. Decisions are made in crisis mode, with little forward planning. Staff meetings are held generally to rally the troops, get status reports, and assign tasks. There is little meaningful strategic development, or shared executive agreement on objectives with limited or a complete lack of professional development. Typically, there is little organizational infrastructure in place, and what is there is not used correctly. There is no succession plan. · Key staff and board members are typically selected by the founder and are often friends and colleagues of the founder. Their role is to support the founder, rather than to lead the mission. Staff may be chosen due to their personal loyalty to the founder rather than skills, organizational fit, or experience. Board members may be under-qualified, under-informed or intimidated and will typically be unable to answer basic questions without checking first. · Professionally trained and talented recruits, often recruited to resolve difficulties in the organization, find that they are not able to contribute in an effective and professional way. · The founder responds to increasingly challenging issues by accentuating the above, leading to further difficulties. Anyone who challenges this cycle will be treated as a disruptive influence and will be ignored, ridiculed or removed. The working environment will be increasingly difficult with decreasing public trust. The organization becomes increasingly reactive, rather than proactive. When a person is in this situation it is almost impossible to see beyond it. But it’s a matter of self-preservation that they do. The real issue with Founders Syndrome is that because their working model is a crisis model the Founder and their inner circle can easily believe that they have to remain to resolve the crisis, which creates more crises. I would guess that this is precisely what is happening with Camila Batmanghelidjh. She has become the structure, the energy source, around which Kids Company has formed. Without her and despite the endless policies and procedures that it would have had to have to pass all the inspections and audits that it has, Kids Company felt unable to sustain itself, and collapsed. There was no one – more necessarily, no group - to hand over to. In similar situations people within the organisation who are concerned about how indispensable one person has become are treated with suspicion and hostility – and it’s often difficult to find the right words to be clear that it is concern for the individual and the organisation rather than resentment or jealousy. Too often, Founders become badly burned-out martyrs and the people who take over feel superior that they’re now modernising and rationalising and streamlining and implementing efficiencies. In a Channel 4 News interview during yesterdays Kids Company march to Westminster a member of staff said, “We never turn a child away,” and the reporter shot back too quickly, “Perhaps you should.” To remain effective, Kids Company should have turned desperate children away. Which children? The homeless children? The malnourished children? The children who are being abused? The children whose parents are being fed by Kids Company? For me, that’s the issue. Kids Company has needed crisis management because children’s services have never been out of crisis. In this mire of accusation and counter accusation thousands of children and families have not been able to twist themselves into shapes that satisfy statutory services. Now, those vulnerable people have once more been abandoned. Let’s hope that another inspired, inspiring, passionate, indefatigable person emerges from this mess to offer new hope. And lets wish that they have excellent friends, colleagues and Trustees around them rather than disciples. |
CategoriesAll Abandonment Abuse Ancestors Anger Anxiety Ash Wednesday Attitude Banking Bereavement Birthday Bravery Breivik Bystander Effect Camila Batmanghelidjh Carnival Cbt Challenger Charlotte Bevan Childbirth Childhood Children Christmas Coaching Compassion Contemplation Control Counselling COVID 19 Culture Dalai Lama Death Death Cafe Democracy Denial Depression Domestic Violence Dying Eap Earth Day Empathy Employment Eric Klinenberg Ethics Exams Existential Failure Family Annihilation Fear Founders Syndrome Francis Report Gay Cure Genocide George Lyward Goldman Sachs Good Death Greg Smith Grief Grieving Grooming Groupthink Happiness Hate Hungary Illness Interconnectedness Jason Mihalko Jubilee Kids Company Kitty Genovese Life Light Living Loneliness Love Mandatory Reporting Meaning Men Mental Health Mid Staffs Mindfulness Money Mothers New Year Nigella Lawson Optimism Organisational Collapse Oxford Abuse Panama Papers Panic Panic Attacks Parenthood Petruska Clarkson Pleasure Politics Positivity Post Natal Depression Power Priorities Priority Productivity Psychotherapy Ptsd Red Tent Reflection Rena Resilience Riots Rites Of Passage Ritual Robin Williams Sad Sales Savile Scared Seasonal Affective Disorder Self Care Self Preservation Self-preservation Shock Sin Singletons Sport Spring Status St David St Georges Day Stress Suarez Suicide Support Talking Terry Pratchett Time Transition Trauma True Self Truth Understanding Unemployment Valentines Day Viktor Frankl Violence Whistleblowing Who Am I Winter Blues Women Work Archives
July 2020
CategoriesAll Abandonment Abuse Ancestors Anger Anxiety Ash Wednesday Attitude Banking Bereavement Birthday Bravery Breivik Bystander Effect Camila Batmanghelidjh Carnival Cbt Challenger Charlotte Bevan Childbirth Childhood Children Christmas Coaching Compassion Contemplation Control Counselling COVID 19 Culture Dalai Lama Death Death Cafe Democracy Denial Depression Domestic Violence Dying Eap Earth Day Empathy Employment Eric Klinenberg Ethics Exams Existential Failure Family Annihilation Fear Founders Syndrome Francis Report Gay Cure Genocide George Lyward Goldman Sachs Good Death Greg Smith Grief Grieving Grooming Groupthink Happiness Hate Hungary Illness Interconnectedness Jason Mihalko Jubilee Kids Company Kitty Genovese Life Light Living Loneliness Love Mandatory Reporting Meaning Men Mental Health Mid Staffs Mindfulness Money Mothers New Year Nigella Lawson Optimism Organisational Collapse Oxford Abuse Panama Papers Panic Panic Attacks Parenthood Petruska Clarkson Pleasure Politics Positivity Post Natal Depression Power Priorities Priority Productivity Psychotherapy Ptsd Red Tent Reflection Rena Resilience Riots Rites Of Passage Ritual Robin Williams Sad Sales Savile Scared Seasonal Affective Disorder Self Care Self Preservation Self-preservation Shock Sin Singletons Sport Spring Status St David St Georges Day Stress Suarez Suicide Support Talking Terry Pratchett Time Transition Trauma True Self Truth Understanding Unemployment Valentines Day Viktor Frankl Violence Whistleblowing Who Am I Winter Blues Women Work |