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14/5/2013
Reliving A Painful Past Listening to the news has become unusually grueling. I woke to a report about the explosion in child abuse pornography which was part of the behaviour of April Jones’ killer. Tonight’s news led with the Oxford exploitation case (perhaps more accurately called Child Sexual Slavery) then went on to Tia Sharpe’s murder. Are child abuse, rape and sexual violence on the increase or being taken more seriously? There are no clear stats to help us here but we know that they have always existed. What we can be very clear about is that this is nothing to do with sex. Child abuse, rape and sexual violence are linearly linked to power and control. Power and control are most often discussed in relation to domestic violence but it’s clear that abuse of power and control are at play in all cases where adults harm children or men who have machetes and guns harm people who don’t. The response to all of this distressing news is beginning to emerge in therapy. People are reliving experiences of childhood abuse and suffering distress. John Snow speaks poignantly about his experience of abuse. Importantly, he explains why people who were abused years ago didn’t come forward at the time. They wouldn’t be believed. They would be punished. They would be shamed - deeply, profoundly shamed. Their abuser will have told them that their parents or carers would die or disown them. If they were taken seriously they’d be subjected to humiliating interviews with police, doctors and social workers, and disgusting cross-examinations in court. We can see this at play in the endless comments on news pages wondering why survivors didn’t make a fuss when it happened and accusing them of being in it for compensation. It doesn’t help when a barrister proposes that the best way to reduce levels of child abuse is to lower the age of consent. There are a number of specialist organizations that work with adults who were abused in childhood and I would respectfully suggest that they might be your first stop if you need professional support. Any good counsellor will be able to take the journey with you through your experience but with a specialist agency you’ll be guaranteed a counsellor who is specifically trained for this and who is supervised and supported by people who are also trained and experienced in the subject. NAPAC NSPCC Rape Crisis SupportLine Victim Support http://www.counsellingconnections.ie/cc/mothersandbabies/dealing-with-traumatic-birth-experiences/
Although written from an Irish perspective the experience remains the same: giving birth can be a harrowing experience that leaves many mothers in unrecognised shock. A cascade of intervention, maternal, midwife or obstetrician fear, an unhelpful partner or giving birth alone, not going to C section soon enough or going too quickly can all lead to PTSD, which sounds OTT but is becoming more recognised. This is not to pathologise childbirth or the post-partum but to recognise that some women can suffer terribly in silence while appearing to be getting on with being a new mother. We've lost all the rituals, the stories and routines around childbirth and left a void in their place. Telling your story, having it heard, hearing it yourself goes an awful long way to bring you back into the world that a painful and frightening event can shock you out of. |
CategoriesAll Abandonment Abuse Ancestors Anger Anxiety Ash Wednesday Attitude Banking Bereavement Birthday Bravery Breivik Bystander Effect Camila Batmanghelidjh Carnival Cbt Challenger Charlotte Bevan Childbirth Childhood Children Christmas Coaching Compassion Contemplation Control Counselling COVID 19 Culture Dalai Lama Death Death Cafe Democracy Denial Depression Domestic Violence Dying Eap Earth Day Empathy Employment Eric Klinenberg Ethics Exams Existential Failure Family Annihilation Fear Founders Syndrome Francis Report Gay Cure Genocide George Lyward Goldman Sachs Good Death Greg Smith Grief Grieving Grooming Groupthink Happiness Hate Hungary Illness Interconnectedness Jason Mihalko Jubilee Kids Company Kitty Genovese Life Light Living Loneliness Love Mandatory Reporting Meaning Men Mental Health Mid Staffs Mindfulness Money Mothers New Year Nigella Lawson Optimism Organisational Collapse Oxford Abuse Panama Papers Panic Panic Attacks Parenthood Petruska Clarkson Pleasure Politics Positivity Post Natal Depression Power Priorities Priority Productivity Psychotherapy Ptsd Red Tent Reflection Rena Resilience Riots Rites Of Passage Ritual Robin Williams Sad Sales Savile Scared Seasonal Affective Disorder Self Care Self Preservation Self-preservation Shock Sin Singletons Sport Spring Status St David St Georges Day Stress Suarez Suicide Support Talking Terry Pratchett Time Transition Trauma True Self Truth Understanding Unemployment Valentines Day Viktor Frankl Violence Whistleblowing Who Am I Winter Blues Women Work Archives
July 2020
CategoriesAll Abandonment Abuse Ancestors Anger Anxiety Ash Wednesday Attitude Banking Bereavement Birthday Bravery Breivik Bystander Effect Camila Batmanghelidjh Carnival Cbt Challenger Charlotte Bevan Childbirth Childhood Children Christmas Coaching Compassion Contemplation Control Counselling COVID 19 Culture Dalai Lama Death Death Cafe Democracy Denial Depression Domestic Violence Dying Eap Earth Day Empathy Employment Eric Klinenberg Ethics Exams Existential Failure Family Annihilation Fear Founders Syndrome Francis Report Gay Cure Genocide George Lyward Goldman Sachs Good Death Greg Smith Grief Grieving Grooming Groupthink Happiness Hate Hungary Illness Interconnectedness Jason Mihalko Jubilee Kids Company Kitty Genovese Life Light Living Loneliness Love Mandatory Reporting Meaning Men Mental Health Mid Staffs Mindfulness Money Mothers New Year Nigella Lawson Optimism Organisational Collapse Oxford Abuse Panama Papers Panic Panic Attacks Parenthood Petruska Clarkson Pleasure Politics Positivity Post Natal Depression Power Priorities Priority Productivity Psychotherapy Ptsd Red Tent Reflection Rena Resilience Riots Rites Of Passage Ritual Robin Williams Sad Sales Savile Scared Seasonal Affective Disorder Self Care Self Preservation Self-preservation Shock Sin Singletons Sport Spring Status St David St Georges Day Stress Suarez Suicide Support Talking Terry Pratchett Time Transition Trauma True Self Truth Understanding Unemployment Valentines Day Viktor Frankl Violence Whistleblowing Who Am I Winter Blues Women Work |
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