Getting A Grip On The Zeitgeist

No one alive has experienced what we’re going through right now.
​
The 1918 flu pandemic which killed more people than WW1 is our nearest analogy, spread by soldiers returning from the first mechanised Total War. The chaos of the early 20th Century may seem to outweigh what we’re going through today but as any therapist will tell you, comparisons are seldom useful.

Whatever side you take on Brexit, masks, vaccinations, covid restrictions, the Prime Minister or any other national issue, they’ve all uncovered attitudes within our neighbourhoods, sometimes within our own families, that can be shocking. The slow dawning that friends, colleagues, parents hold views that are the polar opposite of what you believe to be obvious can be deeply destabilising to relationships and therefore to trust and to the concept of who you actually are.

We’re entering the third year of covid restrictions which, despite what the media may say, have been a balm for a great many people, not least disabled people, many of whom have had to live this way for much of their lives and who have for years been telling employers that working from home is entirely possible. Now, that security and belonging  is being threatened. For others, not being able to be physically near other people throughout the day has been overwhelming. For all of us, the uncertainty that surrounds restrictions is upsetting: some of us watch the numbers of deaths and cannot believe that masks are no longer allowed to be used in schools. Some of us cannot believe that this virus has caused such an assault on personal liberties.

Covid has illuminated the managerial paranoia of people who believe that everyone who isn’t them is a slacker. As a result, a great many people perform work rather than do much actual work: a really dismal state of affairs for everyone but especially for the majority who have seldom worked harder or longer.

Growing numbers of people are realising that it’s not just a mythical other who is having to use food banks; they too are beginning to think about how they’re going to pay utilities bills. The post is taking longer to be delivered. Queues for everything are that bit longer. The NHS stopped coping over a year ago. The streets are a little more littered. There are more empty shops and emptier shelves. The news reports on Adele for 3 days and ignores month-long 17 mile Dover tailbacks.

The build up of hostilities at the Ukraine boarder is at last being brought into public awareness and it’s terrifying. We haven’t begun thinking about that refugee crisis. We’ve become used to the idea that ecological collapse is unavoidable and we haven’t begun thinking about that refugee crisis, either. But there’s no shortage of opinions about refugees.

And the weather. Don’t underestimate the impact of two months of almost total cloud cover at the coldest, darkest time of year.

‘Self care’ is being able to take a proper holiday, not having a bubble bath. It’s not just a lack of disposable income that prevents people from having a genuine break, but the knowledge that they will come back to hundreds of emails - at the same time as seeing that nothing much has actually changed. That can lead to the chilling fear that despite all the URGENT emails they may well be disposable. The Great Resignation is largely driven by the despair of healthcare and tech workers who experienced extreme increases in demand due to the pandemic, rather than by newly liberated souls becoming digital nomads. If you’re a lorry driver, wages have increased but conditions remain crude: for most people, whether they’re in golden handcuffs or struggling to pay the rent, anxiety is an everyday reality.

If any therapist tells you they know what to do about this accumulation of unprecedented pressure, let me reassure you that we do not. We’re feeling it too. Donning the mantle of expert can be very comforting, and lucrative, when things become uncertain but it’s seldom honest.

So why come to a therapist at all?

To take a non-judgemental deep dive into your life and see what can be adjusted and what must be accepted. To reassess what is meaningful for you - without which life becomes a little bit hellish. To be in a place where you don’t have to perform at all but can take the time to make sense of how you are, how your relationships are, how you feel about it all. To take a clear look at how much pressure you’re under, how the pressure your family, friends and other people are under may be impacting you, without the demand to ignore it and carry on. To reset some boundaries. To have reflective time, to remember who you genuinely are, to reignite a little creativity and then, rather than it being a cunningly planned strategy, to naturally evolve into a future that fits you better than the present.

Whether you come to therapy or not, cover the basics: drink water, eat decent food, get quality sleep. Give your close relationships some positive attention. Stretch a bit, get outdoors once a day. Yes, the numbers of people suffering terrible poverty is shocking right now, but that doesn’t mean that your troubles are unworthy. Don’t add to the miserable zeitgeist: think about addressing it.