"A person isn't who they are during the last conversation you had with them - they're who they've been throughout your whole relationship."
Rainer Maria Rilke
Every partnership goes through periods of boredom, irritation, distress, dislike and sometimes hatred. The comprehensive Relate pages explore relationship problems in depth.
My way of working is collaborative, aiming to facilitate partners to put the relationship first, above individual preferences, to negotiate new ways forward. Individual needs are taken seriously, hurt, frustration and boundaries explored safely and sensitively. It very quickly becomes apparent where power imbalances may lie, how control functions in the relationship and how committed to a healthy partnership each person is. Once aware of these issues, of longstanding patterns as individuals and as a couple, it very often becomes possible to work together to rebuild a sustainable, happy, loving relationship.
Not every partnership lasts forever. Where breakdown has become unavoidable it’s possible to dissolve it in a civilised manner. Speaking clearly, kindly and respectfully to each other in therapy minimises anger and helps to develop more constructive ways of communicating, which is particularly important when children are involved.
If domestic violence emerges during our work together I will do a careful assessment of how safe it may be to continue. I worked for a domestic violence agency for 9 years and have a very solid knowledge of the different ways that it functions, most often never involving physical abuse. The priorities are the safety and welfare of any children and of the person experiencing abuse.
Rainer Maria Rilke
Every partnership goes through periods of boredom, irritation, distress, dislike and sometimes hatred. The comprehensive Relate pages explore relationship problems in depth.
My way of working is collaborative, aiming to facilitate partners to put the relationship first, above individual preferences, to negotiate new ways forward. Individual needs are taken seriously, hurt, frustration and boundaries explored safely and sensitively. It very quickly becomes apparent where power imbalances may lie, how control functions in the relationship and how committed to a healthy partnership each person is. Once aware of these issues, of longstanding patterns as individuals and as a couple, it very often becomes possible to work together to rebuild a sustainable, happy, loving relationship.
Not every partnership lasts forever. Where breakdown has become unavoidable it’s possible to dissolve it in a civilised manner. Speaking clearly, kindly and respectfully to each other in therapy minimises anger and helps to develop more constructive ways of communicating, which is particularly important when children are involved.
If domestic violence emerges during our work together I will do a careful assessment of how safe it may be to continue. I worked for a domestic violence agency for 9 years and have a very solid knowledge of the different ways that it functions, most often never involving physical abuse. The priorities are the safety and welfare of any children and of the person experiencing abuse.
