A great many people feel suicidal, you are not alone in wanting to die though you are likely to feel entirely isolated.
The vast majority of suicidal people don't want to die. They want life to be better.
Life is very hard for growing numbers of us. Isolation, poverty, physical and emotional pain, and loss of any meaning, any purpose to life are all too real.
Enduring this can feel like being made to stand in a furnace without being consumed.
It is agony.
Getting out feels impossible.
It is possible.
Give yourself an hour to look at the following links:
"The Maytree Suicide Respite Centre is the only place of its kind in the UK and fills a gap in services, between the medical support of the NHS and the helplines and drop-in centres of the voluntary sector. We offer a free 4-night/5-day stay, and the opportunity to be befriended and heard in complete confidence, without judgement and with compassion and warmth."
"Talk to us any time you like, in your own way, and off the record – about whatever’s getting to you. You don’t have to be suicidal."
If you find yourself talking to someone who doesn't hit the right tone, don't worry about being impolite, put the phone down. Samaritans are just people, not angels. If you get someone who isn't helpful it is not proof that there is no help. Grit your teeth once more. Ring the number again - it's likely that someone else will pick up. You can also email them.
"If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional - only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain."
Suicide Prevention Lifeline
"No matter what problems you are dealing with, we want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7."
If things are too much to bear go to A&E. Ambulances are no longer reliable, so don't wait until you've taken steps towards killing yourself just get to A&E. The simple acts of getting up, getting out, going somewhere bright and noisy and putting yourself in the hands of an imperfect but safer place can be enough to begin to move you in the direction of a better life.